Goodbye

When I left Baltimore in 2006, I was devastated. I wanted it to work out; but I kept getting fired and couldn't pay my rent. UC really saved me. They were very kind and spoke frankly and honestly. I thought, ‘well if I can’t live in www.boltonhill.org and work near the harbor, then I will go to UC and get a Classics Phd.’ This is exactly how I used to think. 

I was there 11 months and had made no real friends. They were work friends and then I would get fired or quit and make new friends. Once I had no money I couldn't even do the things I loved to do: no ball games, drinking by the harbor, crab cakes every night for dinner, Lyric Opera House. And still, to date, I love it and miss it. I am still hoping and really expecting to get a teaching job in Baltimore. Randy Newman wrote, ‘Baltimore, ain’t it hard  to live… just to live’ and I can’t get the city out of my mind.

Packing, cleaning, loading my car today and I didn’t feel anything.  I wasn’t sad. I was so over it. I wasn’t even excited to be leaving because I don’t trust myself anywhere, anymore. I now imagine all places unknown to me to be just like Cincinnati. I imagine I have changed in such a way that all places will receive me just as Cincinnati had. My first place here was broken into. I and my cat had surgery for the first time in Cincinnati. I woefully discovered I have a violent allergy to soy in this city, etc, etc, etc. And I used to be the person who goes to a city because she read the book Crabcakes (James Alan McPherson is serious) and went to a really decent Tracy Chapman concert.

But I am hoping that that will change. I am only going to Bulgaria to come back to UC, finish a dissertation, earn a degree, get a job. I want to miss it and be nostalgic for my friends and Graeter’s coconut ice cream, and the massive stacks in the library, etc, etc, etc. By May 2012, I want to want to come back. I want the person who comes back to be 2006 me: A person who can get fired again and again and still feel like she could have anything she wanted, just because she wanted it.      

When my apartment was immaculate and all the stuff was packed, Skala came out of hiding and took one last look at the place. He was so sad; I envied his imagined regret and mournful consideration. But after I took this picture, I scooped him up, shoved his body in the bag, locked the door and never looked back.

Josephus

I am taking a break from cleaning to publicly pity myself. For my comprehensive exams, it was suggested that I read Josephus, just one book would do to round out my ancient historians. I read Against Apion  http://www.ccel.org/j/josephus/works/apion-1.htm. It is really good stuff. 

I desk-ed check a beautiful edition with a modern translation and expansive notes and essays. I checked out the Loeb edition, thinking I would read the Greek at home and the notes in Blegen. Somehow the Loeb edition found its way on my shelf and chameleoned itself as a personal book. Long story short. I packed it and stored it. It will be due and I will be charged $100. Why someone can't just go on amazon www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0674995759/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&qid=1314653819&sr=1-1&condition=used and buy a used copy for 13.00 is still unclear.

Just when I think I am free of Cincinnati and Blegen... it keeps pulling me back in! When I return from Bulgaria, I am writing an article on Josephus. I will become a Jewish Antiquities expert; people will demand that I speak all over the world. Just you wait Josephus... just you wait!

Euxine Emporia

I just sent off a second draft of my proposal. I think it's stronger, more focused and better written. My fingers are crossed.  It's early and everything I do is about going to Bulgaria but so far I love working on the diss. Blegen library has these awful abbreviated hours, so I was in at 1 but out at 5. I continued working in the park until the mosquitoes annoyed me.

I came home and finished just now. No pictures, no great stories but perhaps tomorrow. I might even get corrections back/thoughts on the proposal and be miserable. Thus adventure ensues. But I am going to bed now.  

Broken Leg

I am pretty sure I am getting some sleep tonight. No... I have not broken my leg but I have decided that unless I brake my leg this will all get done. I spent the day straightening up and the kitchen is done. On Monday I am moving the last bits of things into a friend's attic. I need to be out by September 1, so I will be out and the place will be cleaned and all will be good. What are the chances I hurt myself and can't finish this? Very slight so I am not stressed and plus the one sleepless night is enough. Worried or not I am closing my eyes and sleeping.

So now while I watch episodes of Peep Show on Hulu for the 100th time, I can just dream about a Bulgarian life, writing my dissertation, drinking coffee, vodka, and dancing. Sweet dreams indeed. 

Packing up.

Hey, anyone. I have decided to write a blog documenting my time in Sofia Bulgaria.  Currently, I am on a mattress on the floor in my apartment in Cincinnati OH. I am surrounded by boxes and trash and cleaners and loose bits of clothes that just were never packed. My cat, Skala, walks around the semi empty apartment mewing all night. He knows there's a change a comin'. Also, there is so much cleaning and packing still to do that my mind won't rest; and so, although, tired and sleepy, I'm up. Perhaps if I write I can fall asleep.

It was advised that I start this blog since I am not on a social network and really hate taken pictures. This will keep those who care up to date and I will only take pictures of others and buildings and sites. I leave on the September 21 to research my dissertation about emporia on the Black Sea coasts. Unlike Ovid, I doubt I will be writing to leave the Pontus. I am giddy with thoughts of savage Getae. Thrilled for the onslaught of cold and I am done with worshiping my leader and all the heirs apparent.

Wish me luck. I think it will be pretty interesting.