I had nothing to blog about. I was really frustrated with my proposal but after everything and only three revisions, I have a defense date of Sept 19. But I am incredibly unhappy. I like the proposal and feel quite good about the overall project. I am still leery about Cincinnati and I might apply for another year in Sofia. I am not there yet but I imagine it to be the most thrilling experience for me in a long time.
And the sad thing is I had wanted to tell you of my drive to New York. I have posted some pictures below. It was about 12 hours. I stopped for gas and bathroom breaks with long stretches and a bit of internet-ing three times. One of those times I had lunch. Parts of the drive were really spectacular. I left at 6am heading east and so I saw the sun rise. That was nice.
Pennsylvania is a deceptive state. I drove and drove and replayed whole conversations, relationships and years in my head. I met people, became close and fell apart in the drive. Whole email conversations were recited. In my head, I voiced both parties. I looked back at a year’s worth of clothes: the ballet flats that took forever to come, broaches given to me by mother, those I bought for myself, a too expensive coat that isn’t so warm, and a scarf from France, one from the Met, another stolen from Shakespeare in the Park. And when it was all over and I was too reflective to drive, I snapped myself out of it and I thought “Jesus Christ! Am I still in Pennsylvania? What the hell happened? Is this a time warp? How long is this state!
Once when I lived in the Bronx and was helping a friend move from Washington Heights to my place, making two trips and then afterward went to a beer garden in Queens we were exhausted. On the way to Queens we fell asleep on the subway. When I woke up there was this tall black guy sitting across from me. He had an afro and wore little shorts with tall knee-high athletic socks. My memory swears he had a basketball in his hands but that can’t be. And I cried a little when I saw him. I thought, “What the hell! How long were we sleeping. Why am I in the 70s?” I thought for a moment –really brief but still- that I had gone through some crazy portal and was doomed to live a rewind life. This is how I always feel about PA.
So, why write today… I left my iPad 2 at a Walmart here in Newburgh. I have been really stressed about the defense and money and my car and cat. I sat down on a bench in in front of the cashiers, took it out and used it, set it down and walked away. I paid for my purchases and walked out the store drove to my friends place and put away the groceries. And then I remembered that I left it. I called the Walmart as I drove and spoke to a wonderful woman named Glenda. She had it. It was safe. I was lucky.
I swear this is not an anti-Ohio, Cincinnati and Blegen Blog but… this turned out well because I was home, back east, with real people. I mean there may be such a thing as Midwestern decency but I have never benefitted from such an ideal. A customer turned in an iPad2 that was lying on the bench. The cashier turned it into her manager, Glenda and I have my iPad, the best most helpful gift I have ever received. I am super grateful and I am never going back to Cincinnati. I have hope and a defense date and something to blog about.
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