Murderous Intent

I can't stand walking in the snow: those hesitant steps and the general feeling of unease. I want to make real strides. I mean physically, actual steps. This isn't a metaphor for anything else. It is snowing like crazy here and really too cold to live. I was so close to canceling Russian. But I saw the whole city bustling from my balcony. Everyone was up and out and making the same ridiculous little steps that I resented. Therefore, I thought it only fair that I get up and out as well.

I feel less guilty for my reluctance however. Borianka was late and had tried to call me several times to cancel. But as soon as I leave my house, I am listening to Doug Loves Movies and did not hear my phone. Over the break, I did some Russian and used the textbooks. I redid some notes and was asking about what case some verbs take. Finally, she says would I like her to teach the declensions. Yes! But she doesn't use the English word declension. Nor does she use the Russian translation of the English word declension. Instead she uses some super long colloquialism Russian word, which means the essence of a group.

I wanted to kill her. She is very sweet and kind. But her love of the snow (and the fact that she mentioned it several time) as it came down and blanketed everything, her insistance that I always give familiar examples for every new grammar term, and finally her general optimism and encouragement is like an ice pick through my eye. Sometimes I think, "ok, one of us is not going to make it out of this room and I don't care which one."

I miss my computer! I can't watch the Daily Show on the iPad and that has been the way I start my day as long as I can remember. I can't write my dissertation or read over the crap that I wrote last month. I live next to the Mall of Sofia and it has an IMAX theater. I might go to the movies tomorrow. I will see something really violent and heartbreaking. I will come back to my apartment, and learn the case endings for the three Russian noun declensions. Then on Monday, I will forgive Borianka and try again.